For some time now I’ve been starting the day with a delicious smoothie. I used to use a Kenwood blender, and was very happy with the results. Then I kept hearing about an amazing blender called a Vitamix that could apparently make incredibly tasty smoothies, and make them REALLY smooth but which was much pricier. When I first saw the price I was immediately put off as it seemed way too much to pay for a blender. Until a few months ago, when I tasted a smoothie made by a Vitamix, which was WOW! I then purchased a Vitamix, and have been absolutely delighted with the smoothies this blender can make, which are just so much better, than what could be produced by the Kenwood I’d previously used. If I’d known about the Vitamix in the first place, I’d probably never have purchased the Kenwood.

unconscious incompetenceA couple of phrases come to mind while recounting the above. One that I’ve heard many many times is “you don’t know, what you don’t know”, and the other which I prefer is, “Unconscious Incompetence”:

Level 1 – Unconscious Incompetence
(You Don’t Know that You Don’t Know)

At this level you are blissfully ignorant: You have a complete lack of knowledge and skills in the subject in question (or awareness of an issue). On top of this, you are unaware of this lack of skill, and your confidence may therefore far exceed your abilities.

Level 2 – Conscious Incompetence
(You Know that You Don’t Know)

At this level you find that there are skills you need to learn (or alternatives to the options you previously were aware of), and you may be shocked to discover that there are others who are much more competent than you. As you realise that your ability is limited, your confidence drops. You go through an uncomfortable period as you learn these new skills when others are much more competent and successful than you are.

Level 3 – Conscious Competence
(You Know that You Know)

At this level you acquire the new skills and knowledge (or realise how much better the option you’re now aware of could be for you). You put your learning into practice and you gain confidence in carrying out the tasks or jobs involved. You are aware of your new skills and work on refining them.

You are still concentrating on the performance of these activities, but as you get ever-more practice and experience, these become increasingly automatic.

Level 4 – Unconscious Competence
(You Don’t Know that You Know – It Just Seems Easy!)

At this level your new skills become habits, and you perform the task without conscious effort and with automatic ease. This is the peak of your confidence and ability.

– See more at:

What has this got to do with weddings?! Every week, I meet with couples to discuss their wedding plans. I ask them to visualise how their ideal wedding would be, then once I know their vision for the day, I give them some suggestions on wedding entertainment ideas, and things they can do to bring it to reality, and also explain some of the services I can provide to enhance their day. At most meetings, by the end of it, the couple look at each other and say they had no idea that half of the ideas that I suggested were even possible, and thought that a DJ just provided some music for the reception, and that was it!

So the phrase could be adapted to “Brides don’t know, what they don’t know”!

wedding day secretsThere is a recent book release, that is now available on Amazon that provides a lot of information on what a wedding can be, and how hiring a Party Host, rather than just a DJ, can provide you with an unforgettable wedding day, and night! The book is called Wedding Day Secrets. If you would like a free copy of this book, please contact me for a meeting to discuss your wedding, and I’ll send you the free e-book.

The above graph/4 stage process, also very much applies to many DJs that perform at weddings. With many just playing the music at the evening reception and having no knowledge of other ways they could greatly enhance the day for the couple that booked them. Once they are made aware of just some of the ways they can add a lot more fun to a wedding, there then begins a long process of acquiring the knowledge, skills and experience, to become proficient and deliver that for their couples.

I’m a specialist wedding DJ & Party Host and have been specialising in weddings for the past 12 years.

In case you may be wondering what is a Party Host? The following is an explanation from the author of the book, Derek Pengelly:

Who, or what, is a Party Host?

It has taken a great deal of time and thought to come up with the term “Party Host”. Most Party Hosts have evolved from being mobile DJs, while others played in a Band or were employed in the entertainment industry one way or another.

All Party Hosts are passionate about weddings. They understand the importance of someone hosting the event. Someone needs to take charge and be responsible, and accountable, for the success of the party. When it comes to a wedding the “Success” should be measured by the level of enjoyment experienced by the Bride, Bridegroom and their guests.

Part Hosts are always looking to make their next event different. The words normal or average are not in their vocabulary. A Party Host wants a wedding reception to be fun, memorable and unique. For a Party Host it is not so much WHAT they do, it’s more a case of HOW they do it.

Your wedding day is the most significant day of your life to date. It is a one-off event and it needs to be perfect. Your Party Host has attended, hundreds and in some cases thousands of weddings. They have the knowledge, the experience and the skill to help you have the best wedding reception ever.

It may at first appear a little unusual to believe that these men and women can make such a big difference to your special day, but believe me they can. On second thoughts strike that. Don’t take my word for it. Check out the testimonials from Brides all around the country that employed a Party Host to represent them on their wedding day.

What have you got to lose? Maybe a little time? However investing time to meet a Party Host or two will almost certainly save you a lot of heartache and anguish in the planning stages of your wedding. Most Brides who used a Party Host said that the biggest benefit to them was piece of mind. What could be better than knowing that every detail of the day has been scrutinised and examined, with entertainment and enjoyment being the primary objective in everything planned to take place.

I’ve often been known to utter the words” Brides don’t know what Brides don’t know”. Well now you have a chance to get in the know. Seek out an expert in your area and arrange to meet-up and have a chat.


Beware of impostors

Many DJs up and down the country have heard about our new approach to hosting a wedding reception. News travels fast and imitation is a most sincere form of flattery.

However very few have the talent or skill to do what we do without some form of additional training.

It would be very easy for a DJ to tell a potential client “I can do that”, especially after reading the book or being shown the book by a Bride.

A real Party Host will be able to demonstrate to you his / her competence and talent and back it up with testimonials. Only about half of the Party Hosts known to me in the UK are listed in this directory. If you have any doubts please contact me via email or on the phone number listed on the home page.

You won’t be disappointed!

Congratulations and best wishes.”